World Reacts as Anxiety is Decided Against
January 14th, 2010

West Village -- In a stunning turn of events today, Nick has decided against being anxious about the trip on which he is departing. The reaction around the world was overwhelming, as people, objects, and places displayed a remarkably less anxiety-provoking character to him.

In countries around the world, crowds of people gathered to represent merely a minor obstacle to be navigated in the normal manner, some even presenting themselves as other individuals, capable of pleasant or wonderful conversations, and of being helpful.

Until recently, people had been thought to be angrily organizing to present challenges to the unfettered forward progress of Nick’s plans, presumed to be gathering in airports and other public spaces, committed to causing some sort of generalized distress or inconvenience to Nick.

This is no longer feared to be the truth.

The dramatic change came when Nick, having experienced this assumption of impending annoyance for several weeks, walked for an hour around the West Village in New York City and looked at buildings and groups of people from within a shell of pleasant anonymity.

The supposed threat posed by the outside world was put back into its normal perspective, and the decision was made to no longer worry about it.

“Yeah I was kind of freaking out about everything and then I decided not to freak out anymore. So now I’m not freaking out,” Nick said in a statement released to Liz Tan last night at Corner Bistro.

This is not the first time that this event has occurred. During the preparations for other major events in the past, Nick has undergone a similar process.

In almost all recorded cases, the process resulted in the cessation of the freaking out, and in a majority of cases that cessation came in the form of a decision, which is considered weird and implies to some prominent mental processes a future course of action.